Sunday, July 26, 2009

Let's make Egg salad!

He's hungry and I have eggs I need to use, which
means only one thing... Egg salad!

The secret to Perfect hard-boiled eggs is this... Place fresh eggs into a pan. You'll know
they are fresh if they remain under Water. If they float, or one end Floats to the surface,
throw them away. Sometimes, checking the Sell-by date on the carton works too. Now, bring
the water to a Rapid, eggs-are-bouncing-boil, and then, turn the burner to Low. Allow to simmer
on low for exactly 8 minutes. Not seven, not 9 - Eight. Then move the eggs to your sink and
allow Cold water to run on them until the egg feels Neither hot, nor cold in your hand  

Fresh eggs are a Breeze to peel! I like to peel my eggs under cold Running water,
the same way I like to brush my teeth. Yes. With the water running! I know that makes
me a Horrible person. But I can't help it. The water must be running. It's the only way to
get Clean teeth and that minty taste! I place paper towels into the Sink to keep the egg shells
from ending up in the disposal. Why? Because I got the, "It's a dispose-some Janet, not a Dispose-
all, Janet" speech from him a long time ago. After I clogged the drain with egg shells. And, potato peels.

Dry your eggs and Grab the egg slicer. To me, the key to Perfect
egg salad is perfectly diced eggs. And, this is the Way to diced eggs!

Lay your egg down into the slicer, and...

Slice it!

Now, Lift the egg - not the slicer!

Holding the egg in one hand, open the slicer with your other and
lay the Egg back down. But this time, rotate it the Other way!

And, slice it again!

Now, lift the Egg (remember, Not the blade) up and off the slicer again...

After you have the Egg off the slicer, open the slicer and
lay the egg back down. This Time, lay it on the diagonal

After the Third slice, you'll have Diamond-shaped pieces of
egg. This last step is what turns my egg Slicer into an egg Dicer!

Now toss the egg into a Bowl

Toss right off the slicer. Don't try to lift the Blade
first. It'll never work and you'll end up cussing at me! 

Nothing to it! And, so much Easier than trying to
chop Eggs into little pieces. Now, if you can do it
without cutting your Fingers... Good for you! 

Perfectly diced Eggs makes perfectly consistent egg salad!

Add a pinch or three of Kosher salt to taste

And, some or a lot Fresh cracked
black Pepper... Man! That smells good!

Just remember to move away from the bowl Before you sneeze!

Now, reach for the mayonnaise. I use Hellman's because I am unaware
there is any other kind of Mayonnaise in existence. Please... Don't mess this
up with something Silly like miracle whip. Hellman's... It's the only real miracle!

Don't go Crazy here... Just add a Little to get started. How much you add is
up to you. Fortunately, we both like a little Mayo with our Egg Salad. If you
prefer a little Egg Salad with your mayo, then go for it. I won't judge you!

I learned a Long time ago it's easier to add
more mayo than it is to subtract too Much mayo!

Combine the mayo with the egg thoroughly... Fluffing a little with
a fork as you go. Not a spoon! Because, who fluffs with a spoon?

Combine until it's Just right! Now... If I were making my Famous tuna salad,
this would be the point where I would add a can of drained Tuna, some diced white
onion and a few chopped Dill pickles. It's really good! So good, in fact, that
the first time I served my tuna salad to one of T's friends right after we
were Married, he told me he wished he had met me first!

If this were for me, I'd toast the bread. However, since it's not, and he
doesn't care for Toasted bread unless it's with Jam for breakfast, I won't

It's important to get the Right amount of egg salad on the bread. You want
egg salad in Every bite. But you don't want it to Squish out and make a mess
Now, cut! Straight across or on the Diagonal... You decide!

a little fresh-from-the-vine this morning Veg garnish and we're done!

Perfect Egg Salad... Makes a perfect Sunday lunch outside on the deck!

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